IRELAND 2024
Have you got a license to look
At those mountains, Sir?
Have you paid the
Requisite fee?
Were you looking up
With impunity,
Thinking mountains came for free?
You might be a visitor here, Sir
-They’re fine mountains I agree-
But have you paid the tariffs
For tree lines and summits,
The supplement for heather,
Have you paid the VAT on scree?
Have you a permit for those binoculars, Sir?
Are they metered the way they must be?
Ten euro for every two hours,
Extra for animal sightings,
A flat rate for flowers.
If you’ve broken the terms of your contract, Sir,
You’ll have to come with me.
SPECIAL OFFER!!!
THIS WEEK ONLY
HALF PRICE ON VIEWS
OF SPECIALLY SELECTED
SECTIONS OF THE
IRISH SEA*
*TERMS AND CONDITIONS APPLY.
OFFER DOES NOT INCLUDE VIEWS
OF ISLANDS.
-Sean Hickey